The Zoo

Our visit to the zoo was part of the bribery (yes bribery, I am 100% for any and all forms of it.) that I used to keep everyone happy during my business trip to Portland. The kid's got much more from the deal then I had expected.

To start, there wasn't any parking at the zoo, not even in the overflow parking area. So I was forced to park 2 miles away (no joke) and push (pull, drag, carry and shove) a stroller with a 50 lb kid, 12 water bottles, extra large tub of antibacterial handi wipes, 8 lb purse, snacks, picnic lunches, 2 umbrella's, 4 raincoats, extra large bottle of sunscreen, camera with extra batteries, change of clothes for Hudson and an extra shirt for me for when Hudson undoubtedly spills his drink on me Again and Again. I was somewhat thrilled with the fact that it was an all downhill walk to the zoo. My attitude changed completely when we left the zoo and somehow managed to add an extra 10 lbs in zoo gift store junk to the stroller and then walk back to the car, which by the way I think had been moved another mile further up the hill by some sicko who was probably watching me nearly kill myself heaving this thing up the hill. Next time double parking will be worth the possible key scratches and traffic tickets.

Once inside the zoo I had to unpack the stroller and all of our bags for a weapons and alcohol search. Apparently there had been a few death threats sent to Herman the giant sea lion and now anyone entering the zoo was subject to a full body search.

Next came the long LONG lines for the mini train ride. The zoo folks are pros when it comes to trapping animals/ people in small area's. The line for the train looked more like a cattle branding drive as people were forced (shoved) down tiny pathways which were marked off with ropes. Everyone was trapped there in fear of loosing ones place if they should exit the line, which could only happen if you were brave enough to really upset the other trapped train riders as you pushed your way through them dragging that 100 lb stroller and 3 exhausted kids all of which have heat stroke. Luckily, Savannah was small enough to free herself by crawling under the ropes and between the legs of the other cattle (train riders.) She managed to locate a pop machine and was about to buy a few lemonade drinks when she noticed that the price for one small can of lemonade was $3.00. So she crawled back to me for more money and then back through the cattle to obtain our only means of thirst quenching liquid gold. Three dollars for one can of soda? These zoo people are really sick in their heads. And by the way, the train ride sucked!

In the end I don't feel so bad about the fact that Hudson filled the sleeping goat's ear with pea gravel at the petting park. Or the fact that he purposely reached into the sea life aquarium exhibit and turned all of the starfish onto their backs. The punishment of "Hudson" was well deserved to anyone or anything at the zoo that day. And one more thing... I lied when I said that I was an Oregon resident and saved .25 off of each ticket. So ha-ha!